History of Me

A few years ago my brother, my wife and I went to a Milwaukee Brewers game. I don’t remember the score, I don’t remember who won, I don’t even remember who they played. But, I do remember something about that night – my brother was thirsty. The whole ride back to my grandpa’s house (about 1.5 hours), he complained about how he was so thirsty he was going to die. We needed to stop because he was SO thirsty.

Finally, after about an hour of listening to him – it was decided that IF we stopped, he would have to make good on his claim that he was thirsty enough to drink an entire gallon of water. So we stopped at the next gas station, and my brother purchased not only a refrigerated gallon of water, but also a 32-ounce Gatorade, which he was going to drink as well just to spite me. And he did. He drank them both in the 30 minutes left of our trip from the gas station to my grandpa’s. He then proceeded to spend the entire night shivering and relieving himself every 15 minutes. Apparently there is such a thing as water poisoning – you can have too much water – who knew? I don’t think he had that – but it was not the best night in the history of his existence – let’s just say that.

The next day though, a funny but predictable thing happened, he was thirsty again. He has been every day since then. It’s human nature I guess. But I remembered this story as I read John 4 recently. Jesus is talking to a Samaritan woman at Jacob’s well, already a huge no-no, and he tells her about some “living water” that will cause her to never thirst again.

Never thirst again? The entire concept of that is foreign to us isn’t it? You and I have needs each day so that our bodies can be sustained. We need food, water, air – each and every day just to make sure we survive. But Jesus here is letting all of us in on just how great an eternal relationship with God is. He is all we need. He will sustain us forever. We won’t want for anything. We won’t need to connect to or draw from any other source. He is and always will be enough for us. He will supply all of our needs for eternity. Just being with him is a shift in reality – from those who lack, to those who lack for nothing. It’s an incredible and mind-boggling truth to be sure.

My challenge is to stop attempting to draw sustenance from other things, and to let myself be sustained totally and completely by his living water. Other things look like they will taste good, or give me something I need – but the truth is I don’t – and they can pollute what is so pure. I guess my brother taught me something that night – water is enough – as long as it is the right kind. I don’t need a Gatorade too – I don’t need anything else. I wouldn’t want to spend life shivering in the bathroom anyway.

Sometimes I think prayers get me in trouble. I know it might seem like that is heretical or something – but hear me out. There’s a line from the movie Evan Almighty where Morgan Freeman (God), is talking to Evan’s wife and says… well here, it will be easier I just show you.

So, when I first saw this clip – it really resonated with me. I think that even though the theology of Hollywood probably can’t be trusted more than 4% of the time – in this case it rang true to me. It also mortified me. When I think back to all the things I have prayed, even over the last few years, to think that God might be taking me seriously and giving me opportunities to exhibit the traits I’ve asked for, it’s a sobering thought. So many things in my life that seem like trials or insurmountable challenges, could in fact be the result of God allowing me to grow in patience, or perseverance, or in my ability to love those who aren’t just like me – all because I’ve prayed for them. It wouldn’t make God a jerk; it would make him a realist. Sometimes people like me, learn best or react more to experiences.  If that’s how God sees best to teach me, than who am I to argue?

The challenge comes in not letting my newfound perspective on prayer; affect what I am actually praying about. It means asking myself a difficult question. Which do I desire more – a stress-free and easy life OR to be the best husband, father, friend, and pastor that God can make me into? If it’s first one, my prayers will be guarded and passive. I’ll try like the dickens to avoid asking for anything that could potentially make my life more difficult. But if it’s the second… then my prayers should be bold and intense. I should ask and pray for anything and everything I need and desire to be made more like Jesus – even if it’s going to cost me something in the short term.

Here’s my problem – I want both. I want to be just like Jesus, as long as I am happy and my life doesn’t have any problems and I am comfortable. The reason that’s a problem is that life cannot work that way. Jesus’ life had some of the most uncomfortable moments you can imagine. He was homeless for the last 3 years of his life, he was constantly being questioned and ridiculed, his friends (disciples) didn’t really understand him – and then there’s the whole scourging and crucifixion thing. Jesus’ life was uncomfortable – and if I want to be like him – mine will be at times too.

Maybe for the first time ever in this forum, I don’t have a witty conclusion for my post. The understanding that being like Christ will cause me discomfort is something that I wrestle with every day – its something we all have to wrestle with every day. Every day we choose how much we’re willing to give up to follow him, and what we’re willing to pray for. Today I feel like I’m extremely willing. Ask me tomorrow and you might get a different answer. But today is all I have – and so for today I will pray with boldness and zeal – and I’ll take whatever God gives me and use it to become more and more the child of his he is making me into.  Besides, if I’m going to get into trouble, my prayers can’t be a bad place to start.